Fanmail Frenzy
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Borrowed from a segment by "The Justin Show", our favorite queen bee and supermodel hunk will answer your fanmail and dares and the rest of the Total Drama crew, including the new contestants from TD:ROTI, will respond! BACK AFTER A LONG HIATUS!
1. Chapter 1

**"Fanmail Frenzy"**

**Rated T for Crude Humor, Sexuality, and Language**

**Disclaimer: I decided to borrow the fanmail segment from "The Justin Show" series. So enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Introduction<strong>

Announcer: ladies and gentleman, straight off from "The Justin Show". Here comes the all-time fanmail show dedicated to Total Drama...Fanmail Frenzy! Enough introductions. Here are your hosts for Fanmail Frenzy...Justin...

(The women cheer. One of the female fans tosses his Bra at him. He smiles coolly.)

...and Heather!

(The men cheer, hooting and hollering.)

Justin: Hello, everyone and welcome to Fanmail Frenzy, I'm 3-time Playgirl centerfold, and Total Drama's resident hottie, Justin!

(The girls cheer loudly.)

Group of Women: WE LOVE YOU JUSTIN! (swoon) AHHHHHHHHHHHH...

Heather: And I'm Total Drama's resident queen bee, and the bitch you don't wanna mess with...yours truly.

(The men hoot and holler, doing the dog pound.)

Group of Men: WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

Heather: Thank you, thank you...

Duncan: Hey, Little Miss Prissypants. What about us.

Justin: Oh, sorry for that little technical glitch. Here...(shows the rest of the contestants)..are the rest of the contestants! Starting with my homeboy, Geoff...

Geoff: WOOOOOOOOOOO!

Heather: Bridgette...

(Bridgette waves.)

Justin: D.J...

(D.J. waves.)

Heather: Owen...

(Owen farts, and accidentally craps himself.)

Justin: Eva...

(Eva looks at the camera and growls.)

Heather: (boringly) LeShawna...

(LeShawna makes a fist at the camera.)

Justin: My band members from the Drama Brothers, Cody, Harold and Trent...

(The girls cheer for the Drama Brothers loudly.)

Heather: Weird Goth girl Gwen...

(Gwen scowls at Heather, but waves hello.)

Justin: Duncan and Tyler...

(Duncan strangles Tyler.)

Heather: Lindsay and Noah...

(Lindsay hugs Noah, who holds a sign that says "Help me".)

Justin: Katie, Sadie & Beth...

Katie, Sadie & Beth: (shouting) We love you, Justin!

Heather: Sierra...

(Sierra hugs Cody, who is terrified.)

Justin: (tired) Izzy...

(Izzy makes a karate pose)

Heather: And of course, the pansy-ass homeschooled kid, Ezekiel...

(Ezekiel gets boos from the crowd. One of the audience members shouts "Go back to hell, freak!" at him.)

Justin: Easy, people...You'll have plenty of time to do that...

Heather: Okay, as many of you know, there are 23 contestants, which counts me and Justin, are here today.

Justin: You're wondering what happened to Alejandro after Total Drama World Tour...unfortunately, his ass is still barbequed courtesy of Heather-(to Heather) Thank you very much by the way...(to camera). So Alejandro will not be joining us, the pansy-ass bastard...

Heather: So taking his place will be a "Justin Show" favorite...please welcome back, Aleholio!

(Aleholio, which turns out to be Beavis wearing Alejandro's clothes.)

AleHolio: Where is the T.P.? You will give me T.P!

Justin: Later!

Heather: We really love to start off a few jokes, but thanks to Owen eating those damn joke cards, we can't! Thanks a lot, Slowen!

Owen: (burping) Thank you!

Justin: So, let's just get to comme-

Courtney: (shouting) Hey! What about me!

Heather: Oh, and the prissy punk-ass bitch known as Courtney.

Courtney: I'm not a punk-ass bitch!

Justin: You sure acted like one when you rejected me!

Courtney: (to Justin) That's because I never had feelings for you!

Heather: Will the prissy punk-ass bitch shut up?

Courtney: I keep telling you, I'm not a pu-

(Courtney's voice is silent. She throws obscenities at Justin and Heather inside a glass box.)

Heather: That's better. At least it's calm.

Justin: Okay, since we we're rudely interrupted by the prissy punk-ass bitch...Trent, send us to commercial.

Trent: No problem, one two!

("Sirius" by The Alan Parsons Project" plays.)

Justin: Oh, man...That is thinking man's music there!

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><p><strong>Justin: Okay, what's Fanmail Frenzy you ask? It's a show where readers can send in their questions, truths and dares and the Total Drama contestants can respond! Here's how you can send in your letter:<strong>

_**Dear (?),**_

_**(Question or dare included)**_

**_Sincerely, (your name)_**

**You can also send fanmail to the hosts as well! Send us your fanmail immediately! And reviews as possible! C' ya!**


	2. Chapter 2

**"Fanmail Frenzy"**

**Rated T for Crude Humor, Sexuality, and Language**

**Disclaimer: My name's not Little Jimmy!  
><strong>

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><p>("Sirius" by The Alan Parsons Project plays.)<p>

Justin: Welcome back for some more Fanmail Frenzy! Okay, enough with the crap. Why is everyone standing on a line like this?

(Justin sees that the rest of the Total Drama cast are standing on a straight line as they are facing a T-shirt cannon.)

Heather: Tell me something I wouldn't know...

Justin: Okay, it's because in an attempt to get ratings. This T-shirt cannon right here will be shot, containing a letter, and it's gonna go right at our nads or the cooch knowing that the letter is ours. Get ready.

(Justin puts his goggles on.)

Owen: I have to go to the bathroom...

Justin: Hold it in. Here we go!

(The cannon hits Duncan and Justin's nads.)

Duncan: (cringing) Oh, shit...

Justin: (cringing) Yeah, I think my nads are about to flare up..

(Justin gets himself together and reads the first letter.)

Justin: This one's from Kyrogue23 and he writes...

_Dear Duncan and Justin,_

_ I dare you two to fool Chris thinking he struck oil in his backyard and that you two dress up as crazy cowboy oil tycoons telling him his land has oil in it. And that he hit his sewer tank._

_ Sincerely, Kyrogue23_

Justin: Duncan, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Duncan: Oh...hell...yeah!

Justin: Suit up!

(Justin and Duncan leave.)

Heather: Okay, while Justin and Duncan get to the dare, let's see which letter pops out next...

(Music plays, when suddenly...)

Cody: OHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(The cannon hits Cody in the nads hard.)

Cody: (cringing) Damn it! It hurts like jai alai here!

(Heather picks up the letter.)

Heather: This letter reads...

_Dear Cody,_

_ My question is... How do you deal with a stalker of a girlfriend?_

_ Bryan P. Evans_

Cody: (still cringing) I don't have time to answer that...Justin had a bad idea putting that T-shirt cannon in front of my balls!

Heather: Well, Bryan. Cody might answer, but his balls are redder than the devil bleeding himself. So in other words, he can't. Next letter, please.

(Another letter is shot as Heather grabs it just in time.)

Heather: This is another letter from Bryan and he writes...

_Dear Izzy_

_ My question is...do uou ever regret breaking up with Owen?_

_ Bryan P. Evans_

Heather: Izzy?

(Izzy has dozed off.)

Heather: (angrily) IZZY!

(Katie hits Izzy in the back of her head, therefore waking her up.)

Izzy: (wakes up) Ahh! What is Blubblebutt!

Heather: Another cheap-ass "Jeopardy!" dream, again?

Izzy: Huh? What?

Heather: The question!

Izzy: What question? I wasn't listening...

Heather: Apparently not! Sorry, Bryan. Neither Cody or Izzy can take your responses because their nards are on fire. Thanks a lot, flame-brains! Okay, next letter please.

(Another letter shoots out, and Heather throws it a Sierra's swimsuit region. Sierra doesn't even feel it.)

Sierra: Hehehehe...that tickles. Okay, I got this one.

(Sierra picks up the letter and reads it.)

_Dear Sierra,_

_ What was your childhood like before you noticed Cody?_

_ Sincerely, Jackie Daniels_

Sierra: Well, Jackie...my line of bulletproof blenders! My family's company owns every one of these babies! You can just blend anything from bread, juice, fruit, and even bad taxes. Let the IRS come and get one of these! My whole complete family is tax cheats all the way!

Heather: Thanks for that uncomfortable moment. Okay, now let's go to Justin and Duncan where they arrive at Chris McLean's house. How's it goin' over there, guys.

(Camera shows Justin and Duncan dressed like cowboy-like oil tycoons from Texas. They are at Chris McLean's private ranch.)

Justin: This stinks, Heather. His whole farm smells like a cow-s**t apocalypse here.

Duncan: But at least we got the stuff. Time to make some magic...

(Justin and Duncan go to Chris's doorstep and rings the bell. Chris opens the door, in where he is wearing a robe.)

Chris: What do you want. I'm menstruating!

Justin: (in a Texas accent) Excuse me, pardner. Aren't you Chris McLean?

Chris McLean: Who wants to know.

Duncan: Pardner, we're from the BP corporation in San Antonio. We have reason to believe that underground, your whole field is covered by rich Texas oil.

Chris McLean: Are you trying to play a trick, or am I just s**tting here?

Justin: Nope, pardner, this is the real deal. And estimates show that this kind of Texas oil costs about $250 million.

Chris McLean: Really? $250,000,000?

Duncan: If you don't believe me, grab a shovel!

Chris McLean: Well, all right! I'll be back!

(Chris leaves and Justin stares at the camera.)

Justin: (chuckling) This poor sucker's buying it...!

(Chris comes back with a pickaxe.)

Chris: It's oil time! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Justin: Sure it is...(quietly) You dumb bastard...

(Back at the studio...)

Heather: He sure is...okay, while Justin and Duncan accompany him to his hell...next letter please!

(Another letter shoots out, and Heather grabs it.)

Heather: This one's for Harold, and this guy writes...

_Dear Harold, _

_ What other hobbies to you have besides beatboxing, random facts and mad skills?_

_ Sincerely, Travis Lippmann_

Harold: Well, Travis. I excel at one thing. I am the world's undisputed World Celebrity Thumb Wrestling champion! I am currently undefeated against Adam Sandler, Santino Marella, and Fat Elvis. This is me...

(Harold shows a picture of himself celebrating his victory and holding the WCTW heavyweight belt. He seems to be sweating all over his body.)

Harold: That's me. Take a look at greatness.

Geoff: That's not greatness. That's pit sweat you're sporting there.

Harold: I do not stink!

Bridgette: That is pit sweat. That is gross in my opinion!

Harold: Thumb wrestling is hard work...

Heather: Guys, as much as we want to talk about Harold's sudden B.O...let's head over to Justin and Duncan and see what they're doing with the guinea pig, known as Chris McLame. Justin?

(Camera shows Justin and Duncan watching Chris McLean faraway as he is picking away at his private field.)

Justin: In all silence. We are watching Chris at it's lamest.

Chris McLean: (from far away) Hey, guys! Why aren't you helping me over here?

Justin: (in a Texas accent): Son, this is a one-man's job. Besides, I heard the fine attractive women in Texas find a guy to do a hard-workin' job like this, extremely sexy.

Chris McLean: Really? Well...(hits the pickaxe once more)...I'm coming! I shall rise again!

(Chris hits a ping. As he does, the "Texas oil" comes shooting like a geyser. Some of it even rains on Chris.)

Chris McLean: It's raining...oil...It's raining oil! I'm rich! I'M RICH!

(Chris McLean does Santino Marella's air trumpet.)

Duncan: (In a Texas accent) You must be lucky one sumbitch. You know what we have in store for you?

Chris: What's that.

Justin: (in his regular accent) You actually hit a s**t tank. So congratulations...you are officially #2. Later!

(Duncan and Justin drive off. Chris is stunned, several moments later.)

Chris: This is...

(Chris's face turns from stunned to pissed off.)

Chris: S****************IT! THOSE G*****N PANSIES! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

(Chris goes out in a rampage. Meanwhile, everyone at the studio is laughing like hyenas.)

Geoff: What a douche!

Bridgette: I agree!

Heather: I agree too. Okay. Next letter, please!

(Another letter shoots out. Heather catches it in time.)

Heather: Okay, this one for the rage-a-holic herself and this girl writes...

_Dear Eva, _

_ I dare you to make out with Noah for five minutes._

_ Sincerely, Shirley Meeks_

(Eva and Noah are stunned.)

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Eva: (angrily) What! What kind of a pansy-ass question is that? I'm not making out with some shrimp!

Noah: Me neither! I refuse to make out with the human volcano with steroids!

Heather: You have to. You have to accept any dare that we do!

Eva: Really? I'm still not doing it! Noah would have to get me drunk just to ki-

(Her voice is cut off by Noah's lips and his tongue, in which it is inside Eva's whole mouth.)

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Noah: ...

(Eva soon starts to enjoy the kiss, and starts to hold Noah affectionately. They make out so intensely, that they fall out of their seat. Ezekiel is turned on by the sight of Noah and Eva kissing.)

Ezekiel: It's Miller Time, Eh?

(Ezekiel smiles freakishly.)

(Noah and Eva come back up. Noah's face is full of Eva's lip marks. Eva's hair seems to miss a ponytail. They seem to go back to their seats.)

Eva: We...shall never hear of this again...

Noah: Agreed...

(Justin and Duncan come back to the studio.)

Justin: We're back...what did I miss?

Heather: Noah and Eva...

Justin: If that's something personal or strange, I don't wanna hear about it.

(Justin looks around and see that his cannon is missing.)

Justin: What happened to my cannon that contained our letters?

Heather: Ask Cody. He preferred that he'd had it removed.

(Justin looks at Cody angrily.)

Cody: Don't take it personal...It was too painful. Look at my nads, they burn like a damn hibachi!

Justin: (angrily) You-!

(Justin goes after Cody, lunging at him. But is cut off when the camera goes to Heather. Punching noises are heard.)

Heather: Ouch. When Justin is finished beating the holy crap out of Cody, we'll take more letters and dares from the audience when we come back! Trent, take us to commercial!

Trent: Glad to. One, two, three...

("Sirius" by The Alan Parsons Project plays.)

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><p><strong>Just so you know, we won't accept some of the letters. But we wouldn't hurt to accept a couple of dares. My apologies if I forgot your letters. Read and review until then! That means you, Brock Lesnar (who will make an appearance next chapter!).<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**"Fanmail Frenzy"**

**Rated T for Crude Humor, Sexuality, and Language**

**Disclaimer: Finally out of hiatus! Oh, and my apologies if I don't get your letters.  
><strong>

* * *

><p>Justin: We are back for more "Fanmail Frenzy" and those are you watching thinking that the world should have ended, thank goodness. To the freaky preacher guy who looks like what seems to be the Cryptkeeper from "Tales From The Crypt", God is pissed off at you. With that said in mind...let's get to the letters. Heather, what do we have in mind?<p>

Heather: Nothing Justin, just us sitting in these plastic chairs. This steel chair is making my ass cramp up here...

Justin: How unusual. Send us our first letter.

_Heather is unexpectedly shocked as electrical volts are being felt from her body. Justin is surprised at this occurence._

Justin: Heather, what happened?

Heather: _(still struggling to get back up)_ Oh, I decided to shock our balls or cooch to this letter machine to see which letter is ours. Like for example, this first letter indicates that it's mine. So know that my vagina is redder than a mad bull on juice.

Justin: _(shocked)_ Fair enough.

Heather: Okay, Jason Myers from SeanConneryville, New Jersey and he writes...

_Dear Heather._

_ I dare you to shave Courtney's head._

_Best wishes, Jason Myers._

Heather: Shave Courtney's head off, huh? I think I can do you one better.

Courtney: Ha. There's no way you're removing something precious like my hair.

_Heather then starts to make weird hand motions close to Courtney's face._

Courtney: What are you doing?

Heather: Just watch...

_As Heather snaps his fingers, Courtney's hair is magically gone just like that, rending her bald. As Courtney looks right at the mirror, she freaks out._

Courtney: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! WHAT IN THE BLUE HELL HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY HAIR!

Heather: Movie magic, Courtney. You should know that!

Courtney: You bitch!

Heather: Thank you very much.

_Heather then tosses Courtney's hair right to Justin, who displays it on the camera for all to see._

Justin: Here you go, Jason. Her hair will be waiting in the mail for you.

_Justin then puts the rest of Courtney's hair in a package and sends it away._

Justin: Next letter, please?

_Volts of electricity start to shock Justin's balls out of control. Justin then lets out a nut-crunching scream._

Justin: _(screaming)_ HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY F*********************CK!

_Justin tries so desperately to recover from the minor shock that he is now suffering._

Justin: _(struggling)_ That...must...mean...that it's for me. _(gets himself back up)_ This one's also for Jason Myers and he writes...

_Dear Justin,_

_How do you deal with fangirls stalking you everywhere?_

_Thanks, Jason Myers_

Justin: No kidding...I deal with fangirls all the time. I don't know why I do, but the last time one got near me, I was overexhausted...

Geoff: I thought it was Heather dressed on a blonde wig, and gave you a round-the world and a all around 69. I oughta know since you installed a camera in your trailer. Man, were you getting some!

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..._  
><em>

Justin: You really had to pick a the good time to bring that up, huh?

Geoff: Eh, it helps.

Justin: Okay, let's go to another letter please. And it's from...

_The volts of electricity soon begin to shock D.J. incompletely. Indicating that the next letter is for him. D.J.'s nads are turned blood red because of this._

D.J.:_ (screaming) _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! FRICKIN' SON OF A BITCH!_  
><em>

_Meanwhile, D.J.'s momma is heard from the audience._

D.J.'s Momma: _(alarmed)_ Poopydoo, that language is not acceptable!

D.J.: _(almost about to cry)_ But my balls hurt! AAAAAAH!

D.J.'s Momma: Just quit crying and read the letter, poopydoo!

D.J.: (still trying not to cry) Ok... (wipes a tear) Okay, this letter comes from Bartley Baker at InYourFace, Nevada and she writes...

_Dear DJ,_

_ Who is the hottest girl (in your opinion) in Total Drama and what do you like about her?_

_ Sincerely, Bartley Baker_

Audience: WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!_  
><em>

_D.J. is remained speechless for a minute because of this question, but manages to shake himself through.  
><em>

D.J.:_ (tensely) _Ok... I think the hottest girl in my point of view.._. (takes a breath) _...is Katie._  
><em>

_Katie hears this and looks just a bit surprised and stunned to say the least._

D.J.: The reason I chose Katie is because she smells like bubblegum whenever I'm near her, she's always so sweet to animals like me, and I think that in most cases that she is my perfect match for me altogether...

Audience: _(touched)_ AWWWWWW...

Katie: _(crying with tears of joy)_ Awwwwww, D.J... that is so sweet... give me a hug...

_Katie gets out of her seat and decides to hug D.J. in a warm tender embrace as the entire audience Aww's at this spectacle. Owen however is seen bawling and crying like a little bitch, for no apparent reason. Cody feels a bit disturbed._

Cody:_ (to Owen) _Why are you crying?_  
><em>

Owen:_ (crying) _WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I just love happy endings like this!_  
><em>

Justin: Okay, now that the moment's over..._  
><em>

_Justin then sees D.J. and Katie taking their seats, but to only have Katie sitting on D.J.'s lap and just flirting with each other sweetly._

Justin: ...well, for them perhaps, let's go to another letter._  
><em>

_Seconds later, the volts of electricity now go straight to Cody's balls. Cody soon feels it and let's out a roaring, Steve Carell-like scream ala The 40-Year Old Virgin.  
><em>

Cody:_ (screaming) _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH JIM CAVIEZEL!_  
><em>

_Cody then falls with a thud to the floor as his balls are now burnt like bacon cooked from the pits of Mount Fuji.  
><em>

Cody:_ (struggling to get back up) _Damn it... I knew this was a bad idea to begin with... Okay, the next letter is from Caitlyn Dune and she writes to me._  
><em>

_Dear Cody,_

_ Other than Gwen, who do you think is the most attractive girl on the show?_

_ Sincerely, Caitlyn Dune_

_Cody then tries to answer, but is soon cut off by Sierra who is just begging on her knees just like a cute little puppy, hoping Cody to say her name so that she would just become giddy._

Cody: _(sighs defeatedly)_ Oh, I give up... I choose Sierra...

Sierra: _(acting giddy)_ YAY! CODY LIKES ME! I KNEW IT! THERE IS A GOD ON MY SIDE AND HE LIKES ME! I KNEW HOPE COULDN'T LET ME DOWN!

_Sierra then comes out of her seat and hugs Cody aggressively, therefore trapping Cody in a very huge bearhug. Cody could hear his bones crunch due to the pressure that Sierra is taking on him._

Cody:_ (struggling to break out of the hug) _I... can't breathe one damn bit... need oxygen to keep me alive..._  
><em>

Sierra: Nonsense! I shall be your oxygen, my little Cody-Wody! _  
><em>

Cody: _(still struggling)_ No thanks... I rather just die like this...

Justin: Yep, that's a buzzkiller. Okay, I think we got enough time for one more letter I suppose... Let's see who's next.

_The volts of electricity then takes a shock right to Justin, who just screams like a banshee with a drill sergeant lethally combined in the art of war._

Justin: _(screaming)_ DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IT!

_The shocking finally stops as Justin just slumps to the floor, just holding his perfect package from bleeding._

Justin: _(high-pitched)_ Cody was right, this was a bad idea... Next time, let's just hand the letters.

_Justin finally gets back up with such an effort as he just grabs the letter standing right before him._

Justin: Okay, this is from Tucker and Dale from God-knows-where and they write to me..._  
><em>

_Dear Justin,_

_We all know that your favorite all time wrestler is The Rock. Who's you're current favorite wrestler?_

_Best regards, Tucker and Dale vs Evil_

Justin: Ah, nice question. Knowing that I'm similar to The Rock everyway. I mean look at me... I got muscles, the looks and just the suaveness that The Rock possess. What more could I ask for? My current favorite wrestler happens to be this man..._  
><em>

_Seconds later, a theme song comes blaring from out of nowhere.  
><em>

Theme song: Woo woo woo, you know it...!_  
><em>

_Not too long ago, the "Long Island Iced Z" Zack Ryder comes to the studio where he is given a roaring response from the audience and to the rest of the original camera, all except Courtney, who is still pissed off because of the fact that her hair is gone thanks to Heather's little magic trick._

Zack Ryder:_ (to the entire audience) _How's it goin' my Broski's? This is the one and only, the self-proclaimed Internet Champion, Long Island Iced Z, Zack Ryder! _(to Justin)_ Justin, it's a pleasure to be here! Now we got a little something to say to a certain latin rodrigo watching somewhere. Most notably, Alejandro._  
><em>

Alejandro: Um, you do realize I'm standing right here. How come no one gave me a letter? I'm popular with the ladies.

Justin: _(to Alejandro)_ Like we hardly care. _(to Zack)_ Zack, you were saying?

Zack Ryder: Gladly, broski. _(to the camera)_ Alejandro, you think that you're perfect... Well, let me and my Broski's watching tell you something. Nobody is perfect. Because when the Long Island Iced Z is standing tall alongside my favorite Broski right here standing before me, we are all perfect in every way. But you, Alejandro? Are you serious, bro?

Alejandro: But I am perfect! I am perfect because I'm with Heather! The reason that Heather chose me over Justin over there was because she found me attractive and satisfying. But you Justin... you're just a nobody when Heather compares to you.

_The entire audience boos at Alejandro's statement as Heather turns to him with such a scowl that could wipe the face off a cat._

Heather: _(to Alejandro, angrily)_ Or so you thought!

Alejandro: What do you mean? I know you liked the way when I held you in my arms when we were in that yacht.

Heather: That's because I still couldn't stand you, even if you were in your robot form. I mean, I used to like you secretly, but that's when I realized from that time, I'm just uncomfortable being with you! You always distract me like this, even in the middle of competition. I'm sorry, but this was the reason this wasn't working out. So if you don't know by now, we're finished!

_Alejandro hears this and looks very shocked to say the least. The audience roars to their feet chanting the Queen Bee's name as Heather leaves and tries to approach Justin, but Alejandro is trying to follow her just like an annoying gnat._

Alejandro: But Heather! Mi amor, come back! I gave you a replaceable tooth, I even gave you roses and flowers, I even gave you..._  
><em>

_Meanwhile, Zack Ryder cuts him off with his finishing move, the Rough Ryder, which is a leaping leg lariat. Alejandro is now rendered unconscious as the crowd cheers louder for Zack Ryder. The chanting was incredible that it could even blow up the roof literally.  
><em>

Audience:_ (chanting) _Ryder! Ryder! Ryder! Ryder!_  
><em>

_Meanwhile, Heather is now into the arms of Justin, who looks very surprised like the rest of the campers are.  
><em>

Justin: Heather, how-

Heather:_ (cutting him off by putting her finger to her lips) _Don't speak. You know... I'm really looking for a real sexy beast compared to my now ex-boyfriend. Just so you know, I prefer a real man with such... animal magnetism. You think you can try to make me howl?_  
><em>

Justin: _(in such an interesting tone)_ Hmmmmmm... I think I could make time to make a beauty bark like the moon... (to Zack) Zack Ryder, take us to break. Me and Heather are about to go out into the night and 'warm up'... if you know what I mean...

Zack Ryder: Indeed, well that's all the time you have for me in this show, just make sure you go to and add comments, like me on facebook, follow me on Twitter, and buy all Zack Ryder merchandise at . And don't forget to Take Care, Spike Your Hair! "Fanmail Frenzy" will be right back after this break. Woo woo woo, you know it.

_As they cut to break, Justin takes a look at Heather once again._

Justin: You know, that's not the way we should follow together.

Heather: Then what is?

Justin: This is...

_Justin then takes Heather's arm and follows it down to Justin's incredible tight butt in which Heather's hand is grasping it._

Heather: _(feeling the grip)_ Ooooh... what a gentleman...

Justin: I sure am...

* * *

><p><strong>Man, it feels like a long time since I did this. Just don't forget to send me your fanmail like always. More letters will be coming up after you read and review!<strong>

**Oh, and next up, we will now be including the thirteen campers from Total Drama: Revenge of the Island! Just to let you know!  
><strong>


End file.
